Review: To the Highest Bidder

Title: To the Highest Bidder
Author: Kate Steele
Publisher: Loose Id
Publication Date: 8 December 2008
Reviewed Format: ebook
Length: 106 pages

Rating: 2 out of 5

Review: Ben is delighted when his partner presents him with lunch with his favorite TV star for his birthday. Unfortunately, Mitch is seemingly nothing like the character he plays on TV, being such an ass that Ben can't escape their awkward meeting soon enough. When Mitch contacts him to apologize for his behavior, it seems too good to be true. Can it really work between a gay bookstore owner and a supposedly straight TV star?

Ben is an affable character, likable enough that it's no struggle to enjoy his point of view. I cheered his walking out from lunch with Mitch, but it seemed as though his spine deserted him after that; by the time he left Mitch's house after Mitch's apology, I was wondering what had happened to his self-regard. That parting seemed gratuitous to me, not something I would expect from the grown man I'd been led to believe Ben was.

Mitch never really appealed to me, though I can't pin down why. He was perhaps too good to be true, initial douchebaggery aside, so that I couldn't really identify with him as a character. His traumatic past struck me as unnecessary, or at least built up to an unnecessary degree--again, gratuitous.

Given the length of the story, it's pretty much a given that supporting cast is thin on the ground. Becca was really the only consistent secondary character, and she was never developed beyond the stereotypical super-supportive straight female best friend. A little variance would have been refreshing.

The chemistry between Ben and Mitch was okay, but the sex never really pulled me in. Some ridiculous sex talk didn't really help; I can't read "shoot my wad" and take it seriously. I just can't. I also have to confess to being a bit put off by the description on an erect penis as a stalk. It might be correct by definition, but I can't help but picture said erect penis as rather more green and leafy.

There were a fair number of grammatical errors scattered throughout, though nothing particularly heinous. However, I think there was a sale at the adjective store. One of Ben's orgasms was so overly described as to be ridiculous; I really didn't need that much information about his come. Some of the dialogue was also... weird. I don't understand the conversation at the end of chapter 3 much at all, for example; the allusions could go in so many directions, for all that none of the ones I could come up with struck me as particularly funny.

Not directly related to anything... why is the clean conversation so prevalent? "By the way, I always use a condom and get tested, so I'm clean." "Oh, me, too. I just got tested and also always use condoms. You'll not be catching any vile STDs from me!" Is this part of foreplay to which I've never been introduced? Or does it only apply to gay men? It baffles me, especially when the characters themselves even outright acknowledge it as mood-killing. It's not necessary, it's sure as Hell not hot, so why include it? Are we supposed to assume that any character not having the clean conversation is secretly a festering pit of venereal disease?

For a novella, I took me far too long to finish; once I put it down, it was a struggle to pick it up again. I liked the premise, but I think that the execution has a long way to go.