Review: The Replacement Guitarist

Title: The Replacement Guitarist
Series: Replacement Guitarist
Author: Lori Toland
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Publication Date: 1 February 2010
Reviewed Format: ebook
Length: 220 pages

Rating: 1 out of 5

Review: From the moment Blaze Shinozuka walks into his interview for the position of guitarist for pop princess Cassie, he can't deny the heat between him and Jason Stockton, Cassie's manager. It doesn't take long for the heat to ignite, and Blaze and Jason are engulfed in the inferno. Will they be able to overcome all that stands in the path toward happiness together, or will the strain of their careers tear them apart?

I wanted so badly to like this story, but it was just so clumsy. The pacing was uneven when it wasn't much too fast, and the constant POV shifts were confusing when they weren't downright annoying. Although there were often breaks for major POV shifts, other times the POV would change in the same paragraph. It was more than omniscient narration, which is a pet peeve of mine anyway.

The characters were remarkably uneven also. Jason, despite being an apparently powerful manager, is a mire of doubt and self-flagellation. The inferiority complex just didn't make sense, and when he confessed it to Blaze, I rolled my eyes hard enough to get a serious case of eye strain. Blaze, on the other hand, is a woman with a penis. They're both prone to womanly mood swings and emotions, for that matter, to the point that I couldn't take either seriously. I like my men to be men, not hysterical females. I also never got the impression that Blaze and Jason actually knew each other, outside of the carnal sense. They frequently professed their love for each other, but what was really between them, aside from sex?

The supporting cast was virtually non-existent, and shallow caricatures when they actually had more than a throwaway scene. Cassie was a raging bitch for no apparent reason, and I think only one other band member was mentioned, much less named. It made it difficult to get into the story's world.

The sex didn't make the story any more appealing. It is actually possible to have too much detail, to the point of being almost clinical. I also kept wondering how none of the other staff members figured out they were fucking, given how noisy they were in Jason's office. Doors do not equal sound-proof bubbles! Is it so difficult for them to show a little decorum, given their professed concerns of the others finding out? I realize that these things work differently in romance stories, particularly in the male/male genre where it seems like everyone's a screamer, but pondering it was enough to throw me out of the story way too often. Add to that the fact that they could barely go three pages without getting their hands on each other, and it was just too much for me.

By the way, did you know that 'mahu' is Hawaiian slang for 'gay'? Once more: 'mahu' is Hawaiian slang for 'gay'! And now that it's been specifically pointed out twice, it will never be mentioned again. The repeated emphasis of little throwaway factoids was the equivalent of name-dropping, and just as aggravating.

Honestly, a third of the way through, I had to put it down and walk away, because I was getting so terribly frustrated with it. The scene where Jason literally runs into Blaze at the airport and proceeds to have a conversation with him while lying on top of him on the floor was the straw that broke the camel's back. Normal people don't behave like that, and such abnormal behavior just makes it that much harder to invest in the characters.

I realize that I'm being harsh here, but this story honestly just pushed so many of my crap buttons that I can't help but feel almost betrayed, or foolish for spending money on it. I can't think of a single thing that stuck in my mind as redeeming. I don't think I can recommend anything but giving this one a pass.