Review: Lonely

Title: Lonely
Author: Scarlet Blackwell
Publisher: Silver Publishing
Publication Date: 28 January 2012
Reviewed Format: ebook
Length: 22,835 words

Blurb:
When Austin Bale's dog is seriously injured, he has a crisis on his hands. He doesn't have the money to pay vet Lynton Brooke for Rupert's treatment. Picking up on Lynton's interest, Austin offers the only thing he can: himself.

When the love of Austin Bale's life--Rupert the German Shepherd--is critically injured in a car accident, Austin has to come up with seventeen hundred dollars, and fast. Austin lives alone, works a minimum wage job, and has no one he can turn to. The only thing he can offer to vet Lynton Brooke, by way of payment, is himself.


Rating:


Review:

Main Characters:
Austin is a man with nothing left to lose; he's alone in the world but for his German Shepard, Rupert, and is working a dead-end job that isn't quite enough for him to live on. When Rupert's injured, he's desperate to keep from losing him, and offers the attractive veterinarian treating Rupert himself in lieu of payment.

And that's where my regard for Austin fails. I can understand being desperate, but the offer he makes to Lynton shows a lack of regard for himself that's ridiculous. Add to that the fact that his fixation on Rupert is unhealthy--he buys premium dog food even when he can't afford to feed himself, for one. I get that the author is trying to show how much Austin loves Rupert, but to me it just shows that Austin is an idiot. As a larger question, I also find myself wondering just how Austin was able to afford a dog in the first place. Going through a breeder is not cheap, especially not for a man who has to choose between electricity and food, and most rescues have background/suitability checks for adopters. It's practically cruelty to acquire a dog that he doesn't have the means to support.

That being said, Austin never exhibits any growth, but rather backslides as the story progresses. He makes his offer to Lynton--sex for Rupert's treatment--then acts surprised when Lynton arranges to collect on it. He's angry and terrified by essentially being raped by Lynton, but is excited at the same thought.

Maybe it was because it would be his first sexual encounter in forever. And because, despite his anger at the perceived injustice of the situation, despite his fear, thinking about Lynton made him hard. The thought of being submissive to the vet excited him. God help him, what was wrong with him that he got off on the idea of being used? Was he so desperate for sex that he would take some cold-hearted fuck off a man using his body as merely an orifice to get off? Wasn't it something more than that, though? Being fucked by Lynton meant company. A warm body against his for just the briefest time, to show Austin he wasn't so alone in the world after all, that someone desired him and wanted to be with him. To show he wasn't a forgotten man after all.

I hold contempt for Austin, but nothing less than loathing for Lynton. He has the opportunity to either be a professional or a good man (or some combination thereof) and instead he chooses to become a rapist. He could have told Austin no and euthanized Rupert. He could have told Austin no and paid for Rupert's treatment from the goodness of his heart. Instead, he chooses to prey on a desperate man. The fact that Austin made the offer doesn't excuse anything. Nor does the fact that Lynton is attracted to him.

It was too late to act on his attraction to Austin now, though. It wasn't good protocol to take sexual favours off someone—to use them for your own pleasure—and then to get sweet on them and ask them out on a date. Austin wouldn't touch him now with a ten-foot pole—if he had any pride.

Lynton had ruined his chances. He should have been the good man he knew he was deep down and done the surgery for free with no favours. After that, somewhere down the road of Rupert's recovery, he could have asked Austin out. Thing was, Austin would then have felt obliged to say yes and perhaps ultimately, sleep with him. Either way the situation was lose-lose for Lynton and either way, he was getting sex off Austin without the man actually wanting it.

I just find this so, so utterly insulting. First, there's the insult to Austin--it's all but stated that he has no pride, as he continues to associate himself with Lynton. Second, no good man, no matter how deep, would accept such an offer, no matter how appealing the man on offer. Third... no, I can't even articulate it. "Well, he'd just feel obligated later anyway, so I might as well skip the whole 'date' step and get my rocks off now!" It doesn't work for me. At all.

Chemistry:
Austin is desperate. Lynton justifies himself into being a rapist. Somewhere along the lines, they trick themselves into thinking that coerced sex equals love and settle in for their own happily ever after, while I die a little inside. Even toward the end, their dynamic remains totally and completely dysfunctional.

He felt curiously ambivalent about going out straight away to seek another job. He didn't have the energy. Austin just wanted to sit here in the sun until it went dark. What about Lynton? Clearly he was going to pay for Rupert's treatment and clearly he didn't hold a grudge that Austin had crept out on him on Saturday night.

He should have held a grudge. He was altogether too forgiving, too tender, too goddamn caring. He was no longer that man who had forced Austin to sleep with him.

Hell, hardly forced. Austin had wanted it, wasn't that the truth? Wanted it still. Got dreamy and misty-eyed when he thought of playing happy families with Lynton, Lucky, and Rupert.

Secondary Characters:
There are a few incidental secondary characters, but the largest is Rupert. He's a welcome relief from the dynamics between Austin and Lynton, but unfortunately doesn't provide enough of a distraction.

Story:
The story is basically encapsulated in the blurb. Aside from the coerced sex, not much happens until very near the end, which is set up awfully pat. Rupert falls ill again and Austin takes him back to the vet, leaving him late to work. His foreman fires him. He goes running to Lynton, who heals him with his cock, then casually mentions that the office is looking for a vet tech and invites Austin to live with him. I can't wrap my head around the transition from abuse to twoo wuv. I'm not even certain that I want to.

Writing:
I've no real complaints with the writing. It unfortunately just wasn't enough to make me overlook the content.

Other Thoughts:
Although I recognize that the author doubtless wouldn't have wanted to leave the relationship as rape indefinitely, the insistence on referring to the sex as lovemaking from the beginning was disturbing. I could have understood referring to it as sex, fucking, whatever, but lovemaking? No. Just, no.

Overall:
I just can't move past the subject matter to find anything redeeming here. Pathetic or abusive characters are just the start of a story that I really don't think I'll ever need to read again.